Yay, it is another opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite task

Dating guidelines for nerds

So let me reveal my issue: we likes me personally some timid, nerdy guys, however they won’t ever start a discussion beside me. I’ve no issue using the effort (no fear, no tact, with no pity, really), but them i tend to get fear signals back: stuttering, twitching, averted eyes, etc amor en linea if I try to talk to.

I am perhaps not ugly (based on the good people into the photo that is recent with good hygiene, gown feeling, and fundamental grooming practices. I’m a bit peaceful in that I do not invest on a regular basis giggling and speaking like the majority of girls my age (22), but i will definitely hold my very own in a sensible discussion. We have no self-esteem dilemmas or daddy problems or “issues” of any sort, actually (except with individuals who utilize the non-word “anyways, ” but that is why I’m a doper, right? ).

I am told that i am too intimidating (i will be dull) and that guys will assume that I automatically’m taken because i am maybe maybe not ugly, but i am maybe maybe perhaps not flirting either (WTF? ).

I’m getting fed up with holding the discussion for 2 before the nerdy guy understands that I am perhaps maybe maybe not planning to sprout an extra head and relaxes sufficient in my situation to make the journey to understand him.

Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that i could offer or state to allow him understand i am not too frightening, actually?

*relationship advice. It’s also possible to practice the second-favorite passtime, which will be nitpicking my sentence structure and spelling, in the event that you feel the necessity. None of the stuff that is first-favorite in, though. This is certainly household thread.: )

You hinted to the end which you do sooner or later have the nerdy dudes to relax, so that it appears like you are doing fine. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my partner to tell you how–skittish–I is at very very first. It cannot be any benefit compared to dudes you are discussing.

What type of signals can you send? Any kind of “you” language is incredibly effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better yet.

You hinted to the conclusion which you do ultimately obtain the nerdy dudes to flake out, therefore it seems like you are doing fine. It just takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my spouse to tell you how–skittish–I is at very very first. It can not be any better as compared to dudes you are speaking about.

*sigh* i understand, but often If just I possibly could slip a Xanax in their mountain dew, ya understand?

What sort of signals would you send? Any kind of “you” language is incredibly effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better yet.

This is certainly advice that is good. We attempt to distribute “not stuck-up” (because often people confuse “quiet” for “snobby”), “friendly, ” and “not threatening. ” We smile (but I do not giggle), We make attention contact, and I also do not interrupt them as they are making an effort to get yourself a phrase out (it is difficult).

Wait, you prefer the quiet(ish) nerd kind? And also you’re at OSU? If We just had vehicle…

Feh, whom’m we joking? I would clam up too. Girls are frightening.

Will there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that I am able to provide or state to allow him understand i am perhaps not that frightening, really? To start with, i recently took a review of your photo, and my your ranking from the Attract-O-Meter is;

( maybe perhaps maybe Not my typical type, but we’d have time that is hard my eyeball-tracking nonetheless. )

In terms of advice (and since you may have inferred, i will be in your target demographic): a very important thing you certainly can do in order to make a geek feel safe is get him to generally share their favorite subject/intellectual infatuation/doctorial thesis. When you get him started, along with simply the barest of frequent prodding and display/simulacrum of great interest he will drop the shyness that is whole and tell you exactly about The Hitchhiker’s Guide to your Galaxy/linguistic interrelations of this Romance languages/the life cycle of abdominal worms. As soon as he is run their program and it is convinced that you’re genuinely!, amazingly!, outstandingly! Thinking about him, he then’ll begin asking regarding the passions. (If he does not, he then’s probably merely a self-absorbed bastard, and you also do not desire that. You need to work through the barricade that is initial perhaps perhaps not in to the dungeon. )